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Happy Gilmore
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happy gilmore
Happy Gilmore
"The price is wrong, bitch."
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mwohl3
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happy gilmore
Shooter Mcgavin
"Damn you people. Go back to your shanties."
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happy gilmore
Virginia
"What's this I hear about you breaking a rake and throwing it in the woods?"
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happy gilmore
Happy Gilmore
"What? I didn't *break* it, I was just testing its durability, and then I *placed* it in the woods because it's made of wood and I just thought he should be with his family."
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happy gilmore
Nursing Home Orderly
"Good news, everybody, we're extending arts and crafts time by four hours today."
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happy gilmore
Elderly Woman
"My fingers hurt."
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happy gilmore
Nursing Home Orderly
"What's that?"
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happy gilmore
Elderly Woman
"My fingers hurt."
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happy gilmore
Nursing Home Orderly
"Oh, well, now your back's gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled landscaping duty. Anybody else's fingers hurt?... I didn't think so."
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happy gilmore
Happy Gilmore
"[voice over narration] During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody."
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happy gilmore
Happy Gilmore
"Looks like a slight hill. Whaddya think?"
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happy gilmore
Otto
"And a slant to the left."
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happy gilmore
Happy Gilmore
"Nah, it looks that way cause you've only got one shoe on."
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happy gilmore
Grandma
"How's that nice girlfriend of yours?"
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happy gilmore
Happy Gilmore
"Oh, she got hit by a car. She's dead."
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happy gilmore
Happy Gilmore
"[to Virginia] Hey, my girlfriend is dead, you know. She fell off a cliff and died on impact."
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happy gilmore
Happy Gilmore
"[to Bob Barker] The price is wrong, bitch."
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happy gilmore
Happy Gilmore
"I'll make you a bet."
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happy gilmore
Virginia
"Do you always carry a puck with you?"
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happy gilmore
Happy Gilmore
"Yeah. Alright, now, if you get that puck in that net over there, I'll never bother you again. But if you miss, you got to give me a big fat kiss. And you have to pretend you like it too."
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