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Road Trip
(2000)
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road trip
Rubin
"This is sort of an unusual question, but do you have any marijuana I might be able to buy from you? Our car exploded last night and I'm practically all out of my own."
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road trip
Motel Clerk
"Am I a drug dealer? No, I am not. Thank you for asking, though."
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road trip
Rubin
"No? OK. That's OK. Thanks."
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road trip
Motel Clerk
"Is there anything else I can help you with? Perhaps you'd like an 11-year old prostitute sent to your room. We can do that. Or maybe we can off someone for you. Huh? How's that sound? I've got it. Why don't we start small? Would you like a fresh towel? Maybe you could roll that up and smoke it."
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road trip
Rubin
"[sotto, walking away] Dick."
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road trip
Motel Clerk
"By the way, Cheech, that credit card you guys gave me last night was maxed out, so don't go spending all your cash on needles and guns just yet."
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road trip
Barry
"[Barry attempts to convince the snake to eat a mouse] Unleash the fury!"
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road trip
E.L.
"Think about it Josh, you're in college. The window of opportunity to drink and do drugs and take advantage of young girls is getting smaller by the day."
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road trip
E.L.
"Well, there are these rules that guys have, an understanding as to what exactly constitutes cheating. Take your situation for example: it's not cheating. It's never cheating when you're in a different area code, not to mention a different state."
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road trip
Kyle
"That makes no sense."
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road trip
E.L.
"Hey, don't look at me Kyle, OK, I didn't make up the rules."
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road trip
Rubin
"No no, this is legit, I- I've actually read an article about this. There's a whole bunch of them, it's like- they're like loopholes. Right, for argument's sake, let's say that you were sleeping with two girls at the same time, it- it wouldn't be cheating because they would cancel each other out."
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road trip
E.L.
"Exactly. Or if, uh, you're too wasted to remember- it is not cheating. Because if you can't really remember it, it never really took place."
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road trip
E.L.
"Yep. I'd give us about 20 minutes before our first ass-raping."
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road trip
Beth
"What do you look for in a girl?"
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road trip
Josh
"She should be smart, and funny."
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road trip
Josh
"That's good too."
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road trip
Beth
"Do you feel better yet?"
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road trip
Josh
"I feel a little bit better, yes."
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road trip
Beth
"What else do you look for?"
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